July 28th, 2008

boy with dog

A Boycott Proposal

Two new Hindi movies are / will be out in the theatres shortly. They star some big names in the Hindi film industry and their music is already being played on most channels, and the stars of the respective movies are appearing in promotional chat shows, news interviews and the whole publicity jazz thing that accompanies the big release of a movie.

However, these two movies have one upardonable flaw in them. Both have english words in them that have been spelt incorrectly. One of them has the letter 'K' instead of 'C' and the other one has an extra 'N' put into place where it shouldn't be.

Now, spelling Hindi words in English in any which way is justifiable, to make those idiots who don't know how to read the Devnagri script comprehend what has been written. But stooping to atrociously low levels so as to redefine spelling merely for the sake of being cool or for the sake of numerology is sheer stupidity.

I propose a boycott that all sane people who wouldn't really watch such movies anyway would most definitely endorse and help promote. Let's not watch these two movies in the theatre (either stand-along cinema hall or multiplex), on cable (if your cable guy chooses to put pirated stuff on TV) or by renting the VCD / DVD of the movies as and when they come out.

By enforcing this boycott, we ensure that these movies do not end up being hits, and as a consequence, defeat the very purpose of having had their names altered by numerological methods so as to bring good luck and good fortune.

Furthermore, let's all go ahead and follow the same procedure for other movies as well that will henceforth adhere to butchering spellings. As if there isn't enough confusion already prevailing out there with the American spellings being somewhat different from the Queen's English, with SMS and chat lingo thrown in as well to further compound one's misery.

PS - all spelling mistakes (if any) in this LJ post are unintentional, and reflect the post writer's absolute lack of sleep when it was typed out, and do not necessarily reflect his inability to use spell check as and when the occasion demands it.
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boy with dog

At World's End

The end of the world is upon us. Most definitely so. Things are all going awry, and nothing is making sense anymore.

I put one search on facebook for 'Elisha Cuthbert', the hottest woman alive, and all I found after some stupid fan page created was a whole set of users with the names - 'Ankit Dixit', 'Zubby Raja', 'Rabbi Kalra' and so on and so forth.

One of them had a Kurt Cobain pic in his profile. One of them was a fat surd with a stomach so wide I could hide within it while passing through airport security and nobody would notice!!

I wish I had gone blind before I saw these things, although the way the power on my glasses seems to be going up, that is something inevitable that is just waiting to happen.

Why in the name of God do I have to see such things when all I am searching for is Elisha Cuthbert on facebook???
boy with dog

It Makes Me Wonder

I wish I knew all the racial classifications of the types of people that are present within our country back when I was in school and learning Math. Then the topic on 'Surds' would've been more interesting.

It would've been even more funny had we had Sardars in class and we'd have had questions like - 'identify which of these is a Surd' or 'What is the result of multiplication of these two Surds' and so on.

Some esprit de l'escalier this.
boy with dog

How Are The Things?

There is this particular person who I have worked with at the office who has a peculiar way of greeting people. He says - "How are the things?".

His inclination towards adopting an expression that he's probably heard when abroad and making a totally bastardized version of the same has had me in splits every time he has asked me this question.

In fact, I've upped the ante by giving a straight faced reply, saying - "My things are fine, how are your things?".

I am sometimes led to wonder as to whether this guy was one of the translators for Zero Wing, and the inclusion of "How are the things?" into modern day pop culture references of bad grammatical errors in the lines of Engrish would do ample justice to the absolute mayhem that this statement could cause were it to fall into the hands of those capable of propagating it all across the world.

I have no qualms about poking fun at this particular person for multiple reasons, including his ability to put Harvey Dent to shame.