March 1st, 2008

boy with dog

Don't be smoking no crack, Son!

After that whole barrage of live blagging, I was making my way back home by bus, which is my preferred and chosen mode of transport, and I managed to get off the bus and was trudging wearily back to my house because I had a long day, and out of the blue, there is this guy who tells me - 'don't be smoking no crack!', and this is the first time someone who didn't know me thought that I was on drugs.

Usually its alright when my friends say that I look drugged or like a cow on depressants, because I know that they know that I 'ain't smoking no crack'. But alarm bells start ringing when some arbit pseudo disco visitor looking fella tells me not to smoke crack.

Right now, I can think of a gazillion responses to tell him, but when he asked me to 'not be smoking no crack', the best that I could come up with was, 'Dude! I am not a homeless guy, I just work late!' or something as lame.

To my profound retort, the good samaritan put reply saying, 'I ain't saying you a homeless homie, I just saying you don't be smoking no crack!'. Before I could say anything else, my feet had carried me further away from him to avoid any further embarrassment.

I have thousands of things to say to him now, in the true spirit of 'Esprit D'Escalier', including stuff like 'if your parents were first cousins, they shouldn't have married' and other smart retorts that only come to light when I am thinking of what I should've said.

Such is life. I only hope that when I have to say important stuff, my 'wit' doesn't desert me like it did today!
boy with dog

Beggars of the World, Unite!

Hunger pangs at 2300 on a friday evening, just before I put out that entire 'live-blag' post at the CHAC resulted in me hitting the only restaurant that was open and within a 3 metre radius of where I was standing when the pangs stuck.

The only restaurant that was open was a 'Taco Del Mar', part of a chain of restaurants that stays open late enough for me to pig out at, and this resulted in me having my second burrito for the day. Too many burritos so far as I was concerned, but I made sure that this one was loaded with lots of salad.

At the deli was someone from Swades, who immediately put ID of me as a fellow brown guy, and decided to talk with me and started calling me 'brother' and all. After exchanging the perfunctory bits of information regarding where am from and how long I intend to stay and all that, he asked me what I have been upto, and I gave him a small gist of all the arbit things I have been doing.

He told me that he was going back home in six months or so, but that I should do him a favour and take pics of beggars who were asking for a penny (10 cents), and being pretty desperate in their demands. Our man found it pretty amusing simply because he told me that he had seen how the foreigners used to come to Delhi and picture small kids who were jumping up and down in an area close to the Red Fort when presented with the prospect of getting a rupee or two.

The guy at the Taco restaurant was highly incensed by the fact that the visitors from abroad did the whole obligatory beggar children shots to take back home and show to their countrymen and make fun of us, and had decided that it was payback time!

Good luck to him. Its sad that beggars exist and have to end up doing what they do, and making a public spectacle of their misery, regardless of where they are from is not really my cup of tea.